What's the Return Policy for this Gift?

Sunday, up in the choir we were singing, "it is well with my soul." Today I'm thinking, "yeah, I accept it...but I don't really like it." I go through these phases. Luckily the more positive phase usually out last the negative. This time of year is the hardest though.

Today in the office meeting, the topic of our Christmas party came up. Of course, that's where the "spouses" come....and Julie searches for a date/wing man. So, this afternoon on the drive home I was thinking, wow another Christmas is basically here...and how many will this make that I've been single as an adult now??? At this rate it's not looking so hot for Valentines either. I'll wait to complain about that though. Usually it's just getting past Christmas and New Years. Those holidays can feed a miserably, lonely time.

I grew up an only child and am very much ok with "alone time." I CANT IMAGINE what it must be like to come from a large family,now live by yourself and have no sweetheart for the holiday season. Ye aye! I found something to be grateful for... No really, this morning I was listening to AFR on the way to work and though they advertise themselves as Positive, Encouraging K-Love...I WAS NOT encouraged. Lauren Kitchens (female DJ/radio personality) was saying how's she's older than 38, never been married and still hasn't found "Mr. Right." Her age is NOT encouraging to me. If I have to wake up 12 years from now to hear myself make a similar statement....Oh mercy. All I can say is, "Lord, you know the desires of my heart." Of course He also knows best. 'Cause if it were up to me I probably would have been married well before now. Something else to be thankful for....I'm not divorced!

Often, I look back and realize how much I've accomplished alone with Christ. How much I've learned by leaning on Him alone. And, how scary it really will be one day when I DO get married and have to share space, cause I really enjoy the way I have my whole set up right now. I do laundry when I want, come home when I want, wear what I want, eat/cook what and when I want to... See, it's a bittersweet thing this gift called SINGLENESS. Overall, some days it does seem slightly hopeless and I wonder if it'll ever change for the better. I know God has a plan and his timing is perfect...but, it's still hard. And, it hurts.